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It’s not always simple to express wants. However, sharing your desires and dreams with your spouse may deepen your connection. Sharing what we want, while sometimes a little daunting at first, can eventually be very fulfilling for both ourselves and our relationships. This is true whether it means discovering and accepting “vanilla” desires or exploring the kinkier side.
Spend Some Time Considering What You Want
Spend some time reflecting on your wishes and fantasies before engaging in dialogue with your spouse. Be interested in them. Many people become stuck in the ruts of what they believe they ought to want following social expectations and gender roles.
For instance, many people are taught that whereas males primarily seek physical release and pleasure, women should desire passionate, personal love-making.
But frequently, these preconceptions don’t reflect what the majority of us desire. If you’re unsure of where to begin, go back to your finest experience and ask yourself why it was so great.
Don’t Criticise Your Sensuality
Even once you have a clear idea of what you want, it may take some time to sort out your feelings before discussing your needs and wishes.
A surprising number of your dreams and aspirations are rather common. Finding out how comfortable you are with your desires is a crucial step since, to discuss our dreams and wishes with a partner, we must first have some acceptance of our desires.
Examine The Underlying Meaning Of Your Ideas.
When you can identify and explain your desires, you should think about what the underlying attraction is. If you dream about having threesomes, for instance, the connotation can be clear-cut: You genuinely desire to involve another person in your experiences.
Imagining a second person concentrating on you during the act, however, can also signal that you desire greater physical attention from your existing partner.
Recognize That Some Fantasies Are Personal To You
Keep in mind that you are not required to express every notion you have ever had. It’s critical to think about which dreams you should keep to yourself and which ones you should discuss with your spouse. Perhaps you’ve liked daydreaming about that one crazy night with your ex, or about having a steamy affair with a famous person or someone you met at a party.
Having such a fantasy doesn’t always imply that you want to be with that person or that your relationship is in danger because you are attracted to other people, especially if you are normally contained in your current relationship. Additionally, it does not obligate you to tell your spouse about it.
Take Each Step As It Comes
Start modest and, if at all feasible, attempt to expand on what is currently working in your relationship once you are aware of the needs and fantasies you do wish to share. If your partner is completely unfamiliar with your want or dream, think about starting by revealing only a little of it to gauge their reaction.
Try Turning It Into A Game
It need not be a sombre, emotional event to discuss wishes. Consider turning the talk into a game if you want to go about it more humorously.
Final Words
If you’re not happy with the initial conversation, tell your partner you want to talk about it again later and let them know how much they mean to you. Consider future dialogues and keep in mind that desire changes along with relationships.